"Little t" Traumas Aren't so Little

When we hear the word 'trauma', many of us think of catastrophic events such as natural disasters, assaults, and war. But trauma isn’t defined solely by what happened. It’s defined by how what happened was experienced in the nervous system. A growing body of trauma research honors a broader and more compassionate definition: trauma includes not only acute events; but also chronic, relational, and developmental disruptions to safety, connection, and autonomy.

Trauma Is What Happens Inside of Us

Trauma is not determined by the objective severity of an event, but by the nervous system’s response to it. As Peter Levine (1997) explains, trauma is “what happens inside us, not what happens to us.” The shift in focus from external events to internal experiences acknowledges that the same incident might deeply wound one person while leaving another relatively unscathed; depending on personal history, nervous system resilience, and access to support (Porges, 2011; van der Kolk, 2014).

The Nervous System and the Loss of Safety

Trauma lives in the nervous system—not in memory alone. According to the Polyvagal Theory, when the nervous system perceives threat, it mobilizes protective states such as fight, flight, or freeze (Porges, 2011). These physiological responses are automatic and unconscious. They’re not signs of weakness, but rather signs that our bodies are doing their best to keep us safe in environments where we felt helpless, isolated, or unseen.

Understanding Complex Trauma

Complex trauma, or C-PTSD, often arises from repeated exposure to chronic stressors over time (Herman, 1992). These experiences might not be labeled as traumatic in the moment: emotional invalidation, neglect, microaggressions, or having to mask one’s identity to feel safe. Yet over the years these wounds accumulate and shape our inner worlds; influencing how we relate to ourselves, others, and the world.

“Little t” Trauma - Not so Little

In clinical language, trauma is sometimes divided into “Big T” and “little t” trauma. The former refers to major, often life-threatening events. The latter to more subtle but repeated experiences that disrupt our sense of emotional safety. These might include being chronically dismissed, enduring systemic oppression, or feeling emotionally alone in moments of vulnerability.

Although labeled “little,” these experiences often cut deeper than we realize. The nervous system doesn’t measure trauma by how dramatic it appears from the outside, it measures it by how overwhelmed and unsupported we felt inside (Levine, 1997; van der Kolk, 2014).

Adaptive Strategies as Evidence of Survival

In the face of chronic emotional stress, people develop protective strategies: dissociation, emotional withdrawal, perfectionism, people-pleasing, hyper-independence. These behaviors are adaptive responses to environments that made vulnerability feel dangerous. Recovering from trauma begins with recognizing the wisdom of these survival mechanisms (Herman, 1992).

What Healing Looks Like

Trauma recovery is about restoring the conditions of safety that allow the nervous system to soften and connect. Through practices that cultivate attunement, co-regulation, and internal trust; the body begins to reclaim what was once out of reach: presence, connection, and peace. This is why the concept of 'Dual Attunement' in Brainspotting is so potent. The experience of being met by a caring, attuned other (relational attunement) helps to reorganize neural firing patterns and rewire stress response circuits (neurobiological attunement) over time. This creates a reparative space for nurturing secure attachment (Esposito et al, 2024).

*I cannot tell you how many clients have experienced an "a-ha" moment when learning about this wider definition of trauma. When our experience is validated and we finally feel seen and supported, healing can happen. Whether trauma came in one sharp blow or by a thousand small cuts, your story matters. Your nervous system remembers—and it can also heal.

References

Esposito, G., Cuomo, F., Di Maro, A., & Passeggia, R. (2024). The assessment of therapist responsiveness in psychotherapy research: a systematic review. Research in Psychotherapy: Psychopathology, Process and Outcome.

Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence—from domestic abuse to political terror. Basic Books.

Levine, P. A. (1997). Waking the tiger: Healing trauma. North Atlantic Books.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma.